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Five-times-married Jan Leeming claimed in Femail last week that internet dating has apt her a new lease of life - and she's not alone. There's more chance of winning the game of chance on a forked rollover workweek than there is of being a woman over 35 and getting a date on the internet. Her learning ability cannot process the words: 'I don't judge you're rather right for me.'LIKES THE FINER THINGS IN LIFE Gold digger. WILLING TO TRAVEL Lives in a unclean flea-ridden hovel that he can't possibly let you see. NORMAL KIND OF GUY Normal in a Norman Bates kind of way. NEVER DONE THIS Have done this a k instance before, but I'm too uncomfortable to admit it, so intention simulation that you're my first. Your date faculty be a riot of whoopee cushions, itching toilet article and fake-dogpoo-filled fun. A staggering 65 per cent of British singletons now turn to the internet looking for love. It doesn't matter if the guy is 60, he'll still confine his searches to '35 and under', so any woman's age should be confiscated as a ball park figure. employed her way through the internet site and it's your turn. Looking for a new wardrobe, jewellery and a few weekends away ahead she shit you for a 25-year-old Adonis. Normality should be a given, so run a mile from anyone selling it as a good point. The prosperous rule of internet dating is that anyone who feels obliged to note they have a sense of humour is usually absent of one. LOOKS NOT all-important Barrel-scraping beggar who can't afford to be a chooser.5ft 10 5ft 7. But everyone who's ever dated online knows personal profiles can be a minefield - too often a tall, dark, handsome millionaire turns out to be a short, fat, ugly geek. She's got views on everything and she's not cowardly to ram them forcefully down your throat. If a woman is selling her personality, and so her face looks good in a paper bag. Welcome to a world of slamming doors, smashed crockery and huffy silences. It's harmless to deduct ternion inches from any man claiming to be betwixt 5ft 7 and 5ft 10. The flowers move from the garage forecourt and he calls you 'babe' or 'sweetheart' because he can't remember your name.
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